Ron Burgundy Wants To Host The 2021 Oscars’ Red Carpet Pre-Show

Ron Burgundy spends this episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast taping an audition to host the red carpet pre-show festivities for the 2021 Academy Awards – much to his co-host, Carolina Barlow’s, surprise. “This is why I asked if we could get Leeza Gibbons for this episode,” Ron complains. “She has a go***mn Daytime Emmy Award, which is more than I can say for you!” Carolina points out that they usually get someone younger like Mario Lopez to host the pre-show, but Ron says he knows for a fact that Mario isn’t available, because they recently got into a white water rafting accident together: “I swear I only put the oar down for three minutes, tops,” he says. “Anyway, Mario Lopez is going to be fine, America. Nothing a body cast and six months of intense rehabilitation can’t fix!”

To put together his audition, Ron says he studied the nominees from the 1988 Academy Awards; he didn’t see any of last year’s contenders, partly because the Best Picture winner had subtitles (“An automatic no”) and partly because he doesn’t get sent screeners anymore. Once, he thought his neighbor was stealing packages, so Ron “whipped a DVD of something called Uncut Gems straight through his bedroom window,” he laughs. “Scared the bejeezus out of him.” But then the neighbor started selling copies of the movie from the trunk of his car. “Turned out the joke was on me,” Ron reflects. 

He has Carolina pretend to be everyone from Glenn Close to Cher so he can get his red carpet banter on tape, but he isn’t particularly impressed by her performances. “Seriously, Carolina, that’s your Bob Seger impression?” he exclaims. “Bob Seger, if you’re listening, and I’m pretty sure you are, I apologize for Carolina’s awful impression of you. And I’m sorry you lost to 'I've Had The Time Of My Life.'" To be fair, Carolina is also not impressed: “I can’t believe what a waste of time this has been,” she remarks. Then Ron realizes that this is actually the season finale of the podcast, and he used up the episode to tape an audition. “Call me crazy, but I feel absolutely confident that we did the right thing,” he says. To celebrate, he sets off some Roman candles in the studio, which naturally goes off without a hitch (“Pour that bottle of water over your head!” he yells to Carolina. “I shouldn’t have bought the jumbo pack!”). Enjoy Ron’s take on the 1988 Academy Awards, his slap fight with Carolina, and 1,000 fireworks going off in a small room, on the season finale of The Ron Burgundy Podcast.

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